My Week With Gary Barlow.

Last Fall I responded to an audition notice on one of the most popular LA audition notice boards, Actors Access. It was for a singer/actress who could move well to go on tour with Take That. The ad had instructions to call Gary Barlow direct on a UK number.

Now I am skeptical, but bear in mind that almost ALL the auditions I've been on in the last two years (and most since then) come from this source. So I called. The number was engaged...but of course! I forgot to mention the wages attached to this job, which were BIG (and maybe in hindsight too big). I suspected every actress in LA who could vaguely sing and move (which lets face it could equate to nothing more than the ability to walk in time to music) was calling Gary.

I tried again and got through and there he was. My British readers will back me up when I tell my American friends that Mr Gary Barlow's voice is pretty distinct. No, it's VERY distinct. It said, “You've reached Gary Barlow, you know what to do”. Wow, his delivery is dead pan, kind of disinterested and dull sounding but I knew what to do.

I got in touch with one of my mangers and asked if he could check it out but he never got back to me with any info. So, I forgot about the whole thing. My mum was staying with me at the time and when she picked up the phone the next day and told me it was Gary Barlow I was, I'll admit a little taken aback.

He spoke, I listened....for a long time. He told me what they were looking for, directed me to some on line footage from previous tours to give me an example of what I would be doing etc. I was very un sure. It sounded like Gary and talked the talk but I've been in the biz a while and this is not normally how things are done. He sensed that this girl was perhaps not as “excited” as most girls might be, if they were speaking to Gary Barlow. “Are you alright?” he asks, dead pan. “Yes” I say, giving away nothing!

He goes on to talk about his kids, his experiences on the British X Factor, which he is currently in the middle of shooting, even the weather. I don't know many real details about him (I know he got a bit fat, then thin, used to be the un sexy one but has aged extremely well...) I try to ask pertinent questions which test his authenticity without being too obvious. I ask if he's seen my material on line, his response is vague. I get the feeling he must be lonely or nuts or maybe it is all just nonsense, but I've met so many people in this industry who have developed massively odd personality traits that I go along with it without investing any real expectation of a job. I mean, surely he is too busy to be doing this himself. One of his “people” could be doing this for him, maybe he is bored? But strangely, while speaking to someone who grew up in one of the most successful and famous boy bands ever, I could come up with no notion of what “normal” for him might be. Let's face it, he probably doesn't know what “normal” for him would be. So I keep listening while he holds forth. After an hour he has to go and make another call and will call me right back. But he doesn't.

The next day is Saturday in LA and by the time the weekend has come and gone I forget all about Gary Barlow and the possibility of going on tour with Take That. Bit of a bloody shame but I wasn't convinced anyway...

First thing Monday morning Mum picks up the phone. It's Gary Barlow. “Alright!” he says in his unmistakably dulcet tone. “Shit” I think, then “really?” and off we go again...He tells me he's actually in LA now, flew in over at the weekend and is at his house in Brentwood. I tell him my friend lives near by in Santa Monica and we talk about how lovely the neighborhood is. He wants to meet me the day after tomorrow (Wednesday) at the Beverly Hills Hilton, in the Polo lounge to discuss contracts. “Oh” I say. “You don't sound very excited”, he says. I say something along the lines of “just wondering if and when you'll be holding auditions”? He explains that they wouldn't be because it was so last minute. Some one dropped out suddenly and that's why he's doing this himself. He wouldn't normally. (!) He has seen my material on line now, remembers me from Holby City etc. We talk about all the people we know in common in the industry. I worked with Keith Allen, Gary often works with his daughter Lily Allen and hasn't Alfie Allen done well and I remember baby sitting him during the Jack of Hearts shoot. Then onto songwriting and how taxing that can be. More talk about how much warmer it is here than back in the UK and doesn't this LA water taste funny, I agree. He has jet lag now and he has to go but will call me back.

Then my Dad Skype’s me, he knows what's been going on. “I hope you don't mind” he says, “but I called the TV station and asked if they could tell us the where a bouts of Gary Barlow because you were in touch with some one in LA calling himself Gary Barlow...They will look into it and get back to us....” “Oh. Okay”. “Did I mind”? “Well, no” I say.

Then the phone rings and it's Gary and he asks me if it's sunk in yet and I'm not sure what he means and he explains that the job is mine if I want it. I am flabbergasted!!! He is sweet and totally understands. “How soon will I have to go, I have a little boy”, then, “what's his name” etc. “Don't worry the record company will take care of everything, what's important now is that we get to know each other a bit better, we're going to be on the road a long time”. “How long”? He lists all the dates including the days off and says that I will be able to fly home to visit my son on the breaks...most of the band have kids now and that's the way they do it these days. He talks about previous tours, about the rift between Robbie Williams and himself and how they've all grown up, how great it is to be back together as a band and that they're almost all Dad's now days. “So what's happening with the X factor”, I ask. “I've got a break and then it's from the judge's houses” he says. He asks me to look at last weeks show and we laugh at the expression on his face when a rather camp gentleman does his act!

Also he thinks we should meet tomorrow evening in a prominent Hollywood night spot to start the publicity wagon rolling and so that he can introduce me to the press. Do I have someone I'd like to bring, he doesn't want me to feel uncomfortable...wow, any doubts I had must surely be unfounded, this is real and it's happening and I'm going to meet Gary Barlow. I tell him about my friend who is also an actress. He's interested, “she lives near you in Brentwood” I say, “around the corner almost”. “Who is she, do I know her” ? “Maybe” I say...I list some of her fantastic film credits, About A Boy, The Beach. Then he asks me where is a good place to go and get papped...he's not in Hollywood that much these days. I say my friend will know. “Call her” he says “and I'll call you back in ten minutes”.

I call my lovely friend who is SOOO excited for me and knows just the place and will come with me with her husband and will even lend me her best pap worthy dress.

Gary calls back...I tell him the place. “Did she book a table”? he says. I don't know. “Call her back”. So I do. Then My friend and Gray end up talking on the phone to arrange booking the table. She calls me squealing, “I've just been talking to Gary Barlow”!!! “I know”! I say, almost in shock. “What do you make of him”?.... “a bit nuts” she says, “but they all are. He kept asking me about the lunch I was making and kept on about how I was cooking my potatoes”. Then Gary calls me back so my friend hangs up. Gary tells me about my friends potatoes....wow, is this for real, really? Then he says he has to call her back again and find out exactly how she's cooking them.....This is tooo insane, but really famous people do loose the threads of reality and what do you do? You can't call them out? I want the job (if there is a job) so I humor him and so does my friend. All the arrangements are finally made. Tomorrow eve in West Hollywood and then the following lunch time in Beverly Hills to look over contracts, then he flies bak to London. He's happy I'm bringing my friend and her husband and suggests also including any other reps or managers that I am working with.

Wow, now my head is starting to spin and this is the first moment I actually believe this is true and real happening to me!!

Gary has to hang up again and will call me back.

My friend calls me.....she's stoked. “You deserve this honey”... “But it's insane” I say, “but we're in Hollywood love” she says, “This is the stuff you read about that happens here and that's why we came. All your struggles over the last year, getting so close to big projects and then not getting them, it all makes sense now. This is your moment”. I'm almost emotional.

Then her other phone rings, its' Gary again, off she goes.

A while later my phone rings and it's Gary...he's been talking to my friend for ages....wow. I was possibly right about him being lonely, but he did say he hadn't brought the family with him on this trip so I guess it's understandable.

He talks more about what to expect on the tour and what everyone's personalities are like and how the whole thing is structured. We talk more about my son and how soon I will have to get us all packed up and shipped back to the UK.

So I'm all set for tomorrow night and as he said, “please bring my reps with me” to the meeting on Wednesday.

Now I have been really struggling with my “reps” for some time. At this point I'm on my forth or fifth representation team here in Hollywood (!) and to be frank nothing much is coming forth. This “job” submission didn't come through any of my reps or include any effort on their parts.

So, I tell him... “I'm not sure if I should put this through my reps Gary. Especially as I'm going to be returning to the UK. They've not been great to be honest and I had been thinking that I should probably move on from them”. Then something extraordinary happens, some how we start to talk about fate and God and how sometimes things happen at the right time for some one and he suggests that he may have come along at just the right time to help me. Wow, if only he knew! He could even work with me on my own material if I'd like? Apparently, he often scouts for talent quietly in clubs and he has his own label where he works with new artists. I'm a bit bowled over... “only if that's something you'd be interested in doing” he adds, now I'm completely bowled over. “By the way I hope you don't mind but I've got a little gift for your son”. “Gosh really”? “Yeah its a Play Station 3 has he got one? Do you mind”? What can I say. It's all still too un real.

“I tell you what” he says, “why don'y you give your reps a call and sort out what you need to sort out with them before we meet”? “I think I should let them know I'll be leaving the country”, I say, “it's not really been working out with them anyway”. “Well, tell you what, don't worry cos we can do loads to promote you once we're underway with the Tour and that. You get rid of them idiots and I'll call you back in a bit and then we'll talk about what my management company might be able to do for you. Alright”? What can I say.... We hang up and I send emails to both my reps telling them I will be returning to the UK.

Then my friend calls. “Darling”, she says, (and I can hear it in her voice) “something started to not feel right”. “Yeah”, I agree (I think). “He kept calling me and calling me” she says “and I can understand him wanting to talk to you loads but why me? And why all the interest in my potatoes? I ended up inviting him over for dinner with us on Saturday night and to watch the match” she says. “But he has to get bak to the UK for X factor”, I say. . “I know” she says ….then she is quiet, “honey, I'm friends with Louie Walsh so I thought I'd send him a Twitter to see if I could just check things out a bit” she is quiet again. “Gary Barlow is in London Studios with Louie filming the show as we speak. They've just come off stage....Who ever this nut is just called me again and I confronted him with it” she says....”You did”? “Yep”. “And” ? “Well, he denied it and then got mad and upset and then said he was going to call Louie cos he doesn't know what he's talking about”.

We are both quiet.... “I'm so sorry darling”, she says. “No, I kinda knew it wasn't right” I say. “ I'm sorry to have dragged you into it”. And before I can say it she knows and heads me off.... “He was feckin' BRILLIANT” she says. “He is clearly a sick, sick person but he TOTALLY had me fooled. All the detail...” My stomach is in a tight knot. I feel sick, numb, stupid, sad, relieved. I didn't tell her that I let him talk me into letting my reps go...I guess she'll read about it here.

“Oh God, do you think he's really in LA”? she asks. “Oh God he has my landline number which means he can get my address” I say.

With that the phone rings. “Darling”... she says.

I don't pick up and he calls four times in a row. The final time he leaves a message. “Anna it's Jason...call me”.

Wow....who's Jason? For a split second the thought crosses my mind that it could be Jason Orange (another Take That band member) but really the chances of him calling me at this point, well....nuff said.

A few hours later the Burbank Police are in my house taking a statement. “You won't go to meet him will you”? they ask. I must look as stupid as I feel.